Therapy for Couples

When couples therapy is successful, neither person leaves the session thinking "I was right."  Whether you begin therapy to try and end long-term dissatisfaction, or following a significant crisis, or as a way to prepare for major changes to come, our work is to clarify the conflict and find a shared way forward.  For most people, that's pretty hard to do.

We may ask each person to figure out "What's my part in this?" or "How am I helping to create the thing I don't like?" We may ask one person to change behavior or another to listen more openly despite clumsy words or poor timing.  We may help each of you communicate honestly but without cruelty and tolerate the feelings you've most avoided.  Part of my job is to challenge everyone in the room to disagree with decency and practice some way to connect.

I encourage couples to try therapy when the relationship feels manageably out of balance, not only when it's totally toppled over.  Even if we start in the midst of hurt, misunderstanding and contempt, we'll look to build clarity, understanding, and partnership for the future - or separate peacefully, if that's what is needed.